if cr1tikal were a personality core

seventhelement:

scibot9000:

I’ve noticed that the way cr1tikal talks kind of resembles an Aperture Science Personality Core

I GLaDOS-ified his voice from this video and I have to say I think it works (aside from my own lazy editing)

sci you are a beautiful fucking human being

(via hanari-502)


dutchster:

why do shampoo bottles weigh hardly anything but when you drop them in the shower they turn into a meteor

(via alcomol)


(via alcomol)


godtie:

DO YOU HAVE SHORT HAIR??

IS YOUR SHORT HAIR STRAIGHT AND DOESNT HAVE VOLUME?

DO YOU WANT VOLUPTUOUS WAVY HAIR LIKE ALL THOSE OTHER CUTE KIDS WITH SHORT HAIR?

DO YOU WANT HAIR LIKE THOSE CUTE ASS PICTURES OF ME ABOVE THIS?

THEN BOY DO I HAVE THE PRODUCT FOR YOU

image

THIS SHIT IS THE GODDAMN BEES KNEES

FOR LONG HAIR IT MAKES THAT SHIT ALL WAVY BUT DAMN CAN THIS BE USED FOR SHORT HAIR. IT GIVES IT TEXTURE. IT GIVES IT VOLUME. IT MAKES IT GODDAMN WAVY AND BEAUTIFUL.

BEST WAY TO DO IT? TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE BED, SPRAY THIS SHIT ALL UP IN YOUR HAIR, BLOWDRY THAT SHIT TILL ITS ALL DRY WITH YOUR HEAD UPSIDEDOWN, THEN SLEEP ON THAT MOTHER FUCKER LIKE NO ONES BUSINESS. THE MORE BED HEAD THE BETTER.

WAKE UP AND TAME THAT SHIT WITH YOUR FINGERS. YOURE GOOD TO GO FOR THE DAY FRIEND AND YOUR HAIR WILL LOOK FLAWLESS AND WAVY ALL GODDAMN DAY CONGRATS

BEST PART? THIS SHIT IS LIKE $5.

(THIS COMPANY ALSO MAKES A DAMN GOOD DRY SHAMPOO FOR THE DAYS WHERE YOU JUST DONT WANNA SHOWER BUT YOUR HAIR LOOKS GREASY AS FUCK. THIS COMPANY IS THE SHIT SO FAR AND I WANNA TRY MORE OF THEIR PRODUCTS AND PLAN TO.)

(via skullspeare)


coelasquid:

modestmgmtofficial:

everything’s so funny when u use the wrong measurement:

  • 5 gallons of homework
  • mouthful of lint
  • 20 degrees of facial oil
  • 7 pints of china
  • handful of fergi
  • 60 mph of dad

I was trying to describe how small my friend’s driveway was and the words were not coming to me and I sincerely called it “45 cents wide”


blustreakfreak:

peasant-fish:

shouldnt:

THE FACT THAT THE AMERICAN PEDIATRIC SOCIETY TOLD AMERICAN SCHOOL SYSTEMS THAT TEENS SHOULD NOT BE UP BEFORE 8:30 AND ONLY 15% OF SCHOOLS LISTENED ANGERS ME SO MUCH

Yeah, my school starts at 7:15

I get up at 5…

I had to get up at 4 for a 2 hour bus ride.

(via steampoweredmusic)


egobus:

omg my little brother was using my computer and look at his search history

image

so embarrassing

(via specialsnowflakesanonymous)


ctrayn:

this might be the greatest weapon man has ever conceived.

ctrayn:

this might be the greatest weapon man has ever conceived.

(via skullspeare)


snarky-knight:

shouldnt:

when you have a lot of homework and not enough time

image

When you have a group project due the next class

image

(via skullspeare)


14 years old: I'm young but I know what I want. This isn't that hard, I'm all grown up already and have everything figured out.
17 years old: Well, this is a little harder than I thought. School is almost ending. What am I going to do with my life?
21 years old: What the fuck is going on? Where are my socks?